


Hide Me, Take Me

by Muslin



Series: Hide me [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Choking, Dom Lee Jaehwan | Ken, Dubious Consent, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, Lee Jaehwan | Ken-centric, Light Dom/sub, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Rough Oral Sex, Secret Relationship, Self-Discovery, Strangers to Lovers, Submissive Character, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:40:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29206026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muslin/pseuds/Muslin
Summary: After being with VIXX for nearly 10 years, Ken is starting to ask himself who he is outside of VIXX. There are things that he wants that don't quite fit with his cute image. He wants freedom to feel, to indulge, to explore himself and to explore with someone. He meets someone who opens him up to the possibilities of a world where these things can exist outside of regular life - BDSM. TL; DR - Ken explores his sexual preferences and dominant side in a new context. This is Part 1.
Relationships: Lee Jaehwan | Ken/Reader
Series: Hide me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144313
Kudos: 2





	Hide Me, Take Me

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:
> 
> “Bekant” – name of the café-bar, Swedish for “familiar, known”
> 
> *sigh* Oh, this fic… I started this months ago, but then with all the drama around VIXX in 2020, the pandemic and work, it was unbelievably hard to finish. I haven’t written consistently for years and had never written for a real person, only fictional characters and this was harder than I thought. Anyway. This is Part 1, enjoy and let me know what you think! Mood board made by me.

***

A deep sigh escaped Jaehwan’s lips. It was somehow 3 a.m. again and he had to get up in just a few hours. The idol life wasn’t getting any easier and he wasn’t getting any younger.

At least his military service was over and done with and VIXX had just had a massive comeback, to the absolute joy of many a Starlight. He felt huge relief when everyone renewed their contracts. Without VIXX he didn’t really know who he was. Ken the next generation ballad singer? Ken the musical actor? He almost laughed. Yes, he was all of those, but being on stage with his brothers, breathing life into yet another fantasy concept was what they all did best.

He ran a hand through his currently blonde hair and looked into the bathroom mirror, taking the contacts out from his tired eyes. He washed his face and stared back at the reflection in the mirror. Long, pointed nose, too long, he thought. Lush lips, almost too lush and too pink. Sparkling eyes that still shone with an intensity that was hard to describe. Almost everything about his face was too much in Jaehwan’s mind, but he had slowly learned to accept it a little more. He had finally started to notice girls’ eyes lingering on his lips, on his neck, his hands. The less obvious things that made him stand out and made him more attractive. And with VIXX’s current concept, when he was dressed and lit just so, he looked like an angel more so than ever. Which was what the stylists were going for, and dare he say he pulled it off almost as well as Leo.

He walked his tired body to the bedroom of his expensive apartment that he was still paying for. He had decorated all the rest of it beautifully but the bedroom still lacked character somewhat. He just hadn’t found the right inspiration for it yet, he thought as he snuggled into the covers. He willed himself to sleep but his body protested. As tired as he was, his body craved its own. Images came to his mind unbidden of a faceless female, writhing in pleasure under him. He didn’t have anyone like that in his life but he definitely wanted to. The last time he’d known intimate touch had been some time before N had gone to the military. Jaehwan didn’t even want to think about how long ago that was.

He sighed again and stared at the ceiling. Like a child, he’d stuck glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling. It replaced his need for a nightlight and gave him a distraction that wasn’t his phone when he couldn’t sleep, which for some reason was getting more and more frequent these days.

His skin hummed uncomfortably, his body protested. He needed to feel something, something more. On a whim, he took off the t-shirt, shorts and underwear he had worn to bed. He had never slept naked before, but he’d heard that it felt better than sleeping with pyjamas or clothes. He dropped his clothes into a heap and settled back into the covers. It was a foreign feeling to have all of his skin meeting the warm softness of his sheets and covers. He found himself moving around just to feel that. The soft covers brushed against his long neglected cock and he felt himself stirring. Was that all it took? Just a bit of sensation on the skin? He really needed to get laid, he thought as he reluctantly wrapped a hand around his thick, hardening length. Much like his facial features, his cock was something of its own, on the border of disproportionate with the rest of him. Heavy, long and thick, he smiled lightly when he remembered the gasps of the girls he’d been with when he had stood naked in front of them for the first time.

The first stroke had him hissing and biting on his bottom lip. Fuck, he wasn’t a horny teenager anymore, what was going on with his body?? He teased himself, rubbing precum from the reddened head of his cock to a spot just underneath that made him tip his head back and _moan_.

Fuck it, he lived alone. May as well stop trying to hold it in. Jaehwan indulged himself, fisting the covers as he stroked himself slowly, unhurriedly, listening to his body and what it begged for. His mind was racing, bringing him images of smooth skin he was caressing, soft breasts he was holding, soft lips caressing his body. He wanted someone, he thought.

The thoughts turned darker and he grasped his cock harder. There was hair that his hand was wrapped in, pulling back tight, there was a gasp in his ears as he imagined warm heat encasing his cock. There was a flutter underneath his fingers as he closed them around a delicate, smooth neck…

He wanted someone, and not just because he hadn’t got laid in ages. He wanted someone to share this all with, these thoughts, these sensations, all these things that didn’t fit his angelic, cute sunshine image. The deviations. He had played the cute main vocal for nearly 10 years and in all that time he had still not found a place to put all these things that didn’t fit.

The images in his mind turned rough, the faceless woman delighted in his harsh thrusts as he bent her around him every which way he wanted. He hadn’t imagined it like that before but it excited him so much he already felt himself getting close. That was wrong though, wasn’t it? Who would want it that way? Who would want _him_ that way?

Someone might, his mind answered him, refusing to be silenced. If someone has thought of it, someone has done it. And he let go, imagining fucking the living daylights out of his nameless imaginary companion, burying his dick in her as far as it would go and choking her, quieting her but making her body sing as he twisted her nipples and rubbed her clit the way she liked it. As much as he wanted to cum, he wanted to bring this ultimate pleasure to his partner first, more than to himself.

He came hard, with a loud, unrestrained moan and felt the warm droplets on his own skin as his muscles tingled and sighed happily in relief and warmth. It was as if his body was reinvigorated. He reached for the tissues on his nightstand and cleaned himself up, afterwards settling back into bed. He enjoyed the caress of his sheets and covers on his skin, it reminded him of all the sensations he had just brought himself and he wondered why he had even slept in clothes at all.

* * *

It wasn’t that hard to get through the next few days on just a few hours sleep. He’d done it before, albeit with less _attention_ paid to the neglected parts of himself. It was as if that stolen pleasure and those dark thoughts pushed him through, serving as an outlet at night to vent all the things that he could not show during the day with his angelic concept. VIXX’s promotional period had not ended yet but they had a small celebration for their first music show win from it, ordered takeaway and went out for beers and soju in a hole-in-the wall bar at a neighbourhood over from their company where they often went when they wanted not to be recognised.

Jaehwan had only managed a bottle of soju and it wasn’t sitting well, so he kept his glass deliberately half full so that Ravi who was sitting next to him wouldn’t refill it again. He was smiling and grinning along with Hyuk’s jokes and N’s jabs but it was mostly fake. His mind still had not left that strange place where only sensation, acceptance and pleasure existed.

“So, who’s the lucky lady,” Ravi’s deep voice rumbled mockingly as he forcibly took Jaehwan’s glass and filled it up even thought it was still half full.

“Yeah hyung, who is it that’s taking your brain the next town over,” Hyuk chimed in.

“Tch, what, my hand? Oh yeah, she’s mighty fine, don’t you know?”

Leo choked on his drink and Hongbin cringed. They weren’t used to Jaehwan being this direct with things like that. Noticing the others’ reactions, Jaehwan sighed.

“Sorry my boys, but it is like that, you know? It’s just been so fucking long. And we aren’t getting a break any time soon”.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Leo mumbled.

“Except Mr CEO over here,” N teased. “Why don’t you tell us about your mystery lady, Wonshikkie?”

“I’m afraid she shall remain mysterious for now,” Ravi said tactfully, playing with his glass. “We’re taking things slow and I don’t want to scare her off”.

“I find it hard to believe that you haven’t already done…” Everyone cringed at Hyuk’s lewd gesturing.

“No we have not, thank you very much! You can go do that on your own time!”

Jaehwan narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “I don’t know, sometimes I think… Is that so wrong?”

“Is what so wrong,” asked Hongbin.

“Moving fast, with sex. Who was it that decided how soon is too soon or what you should or shouldn’t do?”

“Society, I guess. Otherwise people would just fuck like animals all the time,” Hongbin answered thoughtfully.

“I’m not so sure, I think we might have overdone some boundaries,” N countered, and Hyuk nodded in agreement.

“Some rules are good though, it gives a sense of certainty,” Ravi offered.

“Other times it makes you feel restricted though. Sometimes sex is about expressing something,” Leo said quietly, raising the temperature in the room.

“True, true. There’s something to be said of having those freedoms and not feeling judged for it,” Ravi nodded. VIXX LR then sunk into silence and the others could practically hear the gears spinning in their heads, already thinking about their next sensual song.

“I just… I don’t know…,” Jaehwan trailed off uncertainly, not looking up from his hands on the table. N on his other side gave his knee a reassuring squeeze under the table.

The evening ended on a bit of a downward note, and one by one the men left the bar. Ravi left, leaving N and Jaehwan to settle the bill and put their jackets on. They exited into the cool autumn air of the evening and the street lights welcomed them. Jaehwan said his goodbyes and turned to leave but stopped, feeling a hand gripping his arm lightly. He turned to look at his hyung who was eyeing him with a shy look on his face.

“Jaehwannie, I know you’re feeling restless but… Just please don’t do anything stupid,” N said, his eyes speaking more than his words.

Of course, VIXX could not afford any more scandals. The unspoken rule was “do what you want, just don’t leave evidence”. Jaehwan knew this and didn’t abuse his members’ trust, but he hadn’t really taken advantage of that rule much before. He’d dated a couple of idols but there was usually not much to hide as they were even more worried about their reputation than he was about his.

“I’ll try,” he grinned, teasing N just that little bit because he couldn’t help himself.

“Yaaa, you’ll make me go gray early, I tell you,” N said dramatically as he waved goodbye to his dongsaeng.

Jaehwan reluctantly walked himself back to his apartment but he didn’t want to. He itched to walk around, to go somewhere, to meet someone. “Soon, I’ll do it soon,” he reassured himself so he could go to sleep for the night.

***

The next day was equally eventful, another music show win which everyone was delighted about. They never expected to win more than once and so they wanted to celebrate properly, they had a day off the following day amid all the radio and TV appearances so they could stay out later.

Jaehwan smiled the smiles and drank the drinks, but he couldn’t take it anymore.

Blaming a fake headache, he left the members to their celebration and walked himself to the nearest metro station. He didn’t think. He took the next train and rode it until the end of the line to a district that was far from his house and far from the company. He had never been there before but enjoyed the feeling of getting lost aimlessly on the streets in the chilly evening. He had put some effort and worn a nice button-up with his slacks, with a blazer on top so the autumn chill felt pleasant more than anything.

He wanted a place to distract himself and to think. He explored the neighbourhood and enjoyed the quieter feel that it offered compared to downtown Seoul. Small restaurants and cafes were still open here and there, half full of regular people, not company staff or celebrities and he had no worry of being recognised.

When he got tired of walking he tucked into a café-bar without even looking at the name. It looked deceptively small from the outside but was rather spacious on the inside. It had a very Scandi feel, from what Jaehwan noticed and compared with his memories of VIXX’s tour stop in Sweden years ago. The interior was natural colours, wood finishings and gave a very far-away, cosy feel. The bar served both coffee and alcohol, depending on the time of day. He ordered himself a flavoured coffee to offset the remainder of the light alcohol buzz from earlier in the evening. He sat down in a secluded corner and people-watched.

He wondered where these people went in the morning and at night, watched them laugh and chat, some read books or the news and Jaehwan felt so far removed from his chaotic daily life that he almost forgot that he had been on a stage earlier today, with ridiculous mounts of makeup and singing his heart out while hearing fans scream his name. He eyed some of the shelves in the café for reading material and saw a lot of ice-breaker games, intended to be played on a date or in a group.

He picked one up and brought it to his table even though he had no one to play it with, so decided to play by himself. He read the questions and thought he would answer them all, then he would go home.

_What would you do that you have not yet tried, if you knew you could not fail?_

Jaehwan smiled and tilted his head. So many things he could do that he could not pick just one. Modelling? He had tried but been too scared to fully commit like Hongbin. Start his own company like Ravi? Maybe, if he knew it would not fail.

_What is something unexpected that has changed about you over the past few years?_

Hmm. His music taste? No… His living situation? Sort of. Jaehwan was reminded of the uncomfortable thought that without VIXX he was not sure who he was and because VIXX had been on hiatus, nothing much had changed about him either.

_(ask the person across from you to answer the question about you and exchange answers) When people meet you for the first time, what do you think they notice?_

Jaehwan furrowed his brow. Normally he would instantly say he hoped that they noticed he was cute, but he was not sure how he felt about that label anymore. He knew what he hoped they would _not_ notice, which were the minor physical things he didn’t like that much about himself.

He looked around at the people in the café, pausing on each one to notice the things that stood out.

_Middle-aged man, looks like he works in an office, looks like being presentable is important to him. Teenage girl, very bright colour hair, out-there makeup, seems like she wants people to notice her individuality and creativity. Cashier, young man, seems like he makes small talk with every customer, probably enjoys his work._

Jaehwan wondered what these ordinary people would think of him at first glance. He then turned his attention back out to the people around him.

_Young woman, maybe foreign? Clothes… normal, no books, no laptop. She’s alone. She seems beautiful but I don’t know why. She looks like… She’s looking for something._

Something stirred in Jaehwan. He could not get an impression from the girl he was watching and that intrigued him because she reminded him of himself. She was watching the other people in the shop too and nothing about her gave him any clue about her life. He watched her until her eyes got to him.

Sometimes Jaehwan was a sucker for dramas and sometimes he was a romantic. Yet the feeling of his stomach flipping when she looked at him caught him off guard. He didn’t know this girl but somehow he was inundated with the feeling that she was his answer. He wasn’t even sure of the question yet.

He blinked a few times and smiled at her, waving the game in front of him and gesturing to show that he was playing it alone. She returned his smile shyly but with a quiet confidence about her, and picked up the coat off the back of her chair, slowly moving over to Jaehwan’s table. His was in a small booth with a sofa so was much more spacious.

Neither of them asked the other’s name. She had come over to play his game with him, nothing more, and names were not required for that. He pushed the game over to her with the question he had not answered.

“When people meet you for the first time, what do you think they notice”, she read out. I like her voice, Jaehwan thought.

“That one I can’t answer myself, so help me out,” he said with a grin that turned his bright eyes into smiley slits and he watched her expectantly.

She eyed him up and down and he found himself following every line of her face, her eyes, her shoulders, as if he was drawing her in his mind.

“Hmm. You’re friendly, and you have a beautiful smile,” she said. “And your eyes, there’s a lot in them, like you’re full of questions and jokes. I think you love to laugh and enjoy life. Was I right?”

Jaehwan nodded. He had the answer.

“What about me,” she asked him with a smile of her own, pushing back a little as if to let him see more of her.

“Beautiful, sweet, elegant,” he said immediately, without thinking. “You’re brave I think, helping strangers like me. You look like… You look like you know who you are and what you want. Was I right?”

She smiled at him and looked down, thinking for a moment. “Mostly, yes. There are some things I still don’t know.”

“Same for me. I want to find out,” Jaehwan said. He mentally smacked himself, he didn’t think he had made any sense just then.

The girl looked at him, as if trying to decide. “We have some time, why don’t we find out,” she said quietly, looking up at him from beneath her lashes.

Jaehwan didn’t respond, only smiled and reached across the table, taking her hand in his large one briefly in a handshake.

***

Evening turned into night. Jaehwan sat with his new acquaintance and they learned more about each other but agreed to leave their names and some other parts out. Jaehwan told her he worked in entertainment but did not say that he was in VIXX or what company he was with. She did not recognise him and was fine with that. She told him she worked a government job but did not say where or where she lived. They found out they were close in age. They spoke about their families and siblings, about their education, played the rest of Jaehwan’s game and he enjoyed being made to think hard about his life, what he wanted and who he was. Somehow she made it so easy for him to find the answers to all the questions that had been keeping him up at night.

Jaehwan found himself drawn very strongly to her. He tested her, laid out his palms facing up on the table and she placed her hands in his. He made a come-hither motion to her and she leaned closer to him, allowed him to take her chin between his fingers and look into her eyes. She held his gaze but he did not miss the way her eyes flickered down to his lips.

Jaehwan felt bolder. He shifted in his seat and opened his arm to the side, looking expectantly at her. She stood up and then sat next to him, allowing him to slip his arm around her shoulders.

“Can I be straightforward about something,” she asked.

“Of course. This has been a most unusual evening for me anyway but I’m really enjoying it, so go ahead,” Jaehwan said, his voice quiet and smooth.

“I would not say no if you wanted to walk me home and come up… _for a drink_ tonight. I wouldn’t mind if that was all you wanted, but I would like to see you again.”

Jaehwan fell silent. This was the most forward a girl had ever been with him and yet he was so flattered at the way she did it, making it all about him. He absolutely wanted to see her again. He wanted to know her, wanted to kiss her and hold her. At the back of his mind, those darker thoughts also started creeping forward. She wanted him but he wondered _how_ she wanted him. Would she let him explore all those things that made his blood run hotter? Would she want it?

“I definitely want to see you again,” he started, “And don’t worry, I won’t be walking you home tonight but I want to meet you again and maybe then we can see. I don’t want to rush this.”

She leaned closer to him now, eyes half-lidded and no longer hiding that she was looking at his lips.

“Do you know that your lips are gorgeous,” she asked him.

He smiled. “I know now. Do you want them?”

She nodded, and he wanted to give her exactly what she wanted. He leaned in, tilting slightly to the side and covered her lips with his. He heard the smallest sigh come out of her against his lips and he kissed her deeper. She readily parted her lips for him and met his tongue with hers. She tasted like the sweet syrup she had put in her coffee and he could not get enough. It was all he could do not to outright moan into her mouth.

Her tongue caressed his and he couldn’t resist bringing his hand around the back of her neck, holding her against him as if afraid to let go. He teasingly ran his tongue over her bottom lip and bit it lightly. She responded to him like that was what she was waiting for and did the same for him in return, sending spikes of pleasure into his body. He could not remember the last time he had been so aroused by just a kiss and didn’t want to stop.

When air got scarce he let her go but she stayed close to him and he held her face in both hands, running his thumb over her lip gently and then giving her another simple kiss.

“It’s Jaehwan. My name is Jaehwan,” he told her, and the next second his name left her lips in a sigh. “You don’t have to tell me yours if you don’t want to yet”.

She nodded and kissed him first this time, the feeling in his body both like caffeine and opiates.

As if through water, Jaehwan heard the barista announce that the shop was closing in 10 minutes and people started making their way out. He separated from his new acquaintance reluctantly.

Numbers were exchanged. He typed his into her phone as “Jaehwan” with a heart. She typed hers into his phone but without a name.

“Um, what’s the name of this café,” he asked her.

“It’s _“Bekant”_ , she said, “The owners say it’s Swedish for “known” or “familiar”. I quite like it, I come often in the evenings. I’d love to see you here again maybe?”

Her hopeful tone made Jaehwan’s heart swell and he saved her number with the name of the café with a flower after it.

“I like it too. I really want to see you again. My schedule is a bit irregular at the moment, but I’ll call you?”

She nodded and smiled at him. She held his hand, then put her coat on and waved goodbye at him. He sat alone for a few more minutes, processing what his evening had turned into. He then left the shop, the bell on the door ringing behind him.

He rode the train back to his own neighbourhood in a daze. His mind was full of her eyes, her lips, the way her hands moved when she spoke, how her tongue had felt against his, how he wanted to kiss underneath her ear, where she wore a beautiful earring.

***

Exhaustion that he had not noticed kept Jaehwan in bed for most of his day off. He ignored the calls from N and the dozen texts and silly voicemails from Hyuk. They were seeing each other tomorrow for rehearsals anyway.

When he finally got out of bed and hopped into the shower it was late afternoon. He turned on the hot water and his body complained. He was hard and he knew it was because of the thoughts of _her_ that he could not get out of his head but had fooled himself into thinking he had. He gripped his heavy length and squeezed lightly, willing it to calm down. Would it be too desperate if he asked his new flame to see him tonight?

He shovelled some food into his mouth mindlessly as he mustered up the courage and texted her.

_Hey ;) I’m having trouble discerning dreams from reality. Can you remind me if you were real last night?_

His phone beeped in a couple of minutes.

_Last I checked I was. I remember the flavour of your coffee, even though I didn’t get a sip ;)_

Jaehwan smiled brightly to himself.

_Are you free tonight? I really enjoyed chatting and playing with you last night and if you’re free I’d love to see you at Bekant again_ _J_

As he waited for an answer he went to his closet and put on one of his large comfy t-shirts and some tracksuit bottoms.

*beep* _I have a couple of hours this evening, yes. See you at 7?_

Jaehwan pulled up directions to Bekant from his house. If he hurried, he could make the train.

_See you then, gorgeous ;) Could you do me one favour though?_

*beep* _I hope so, what is it?_

Jaehwan wanted to see if he could really relax around her or if he had imagined that odd familiarity they had last night.

_Could you dress as comfortably as possible?_

*beep* _You got it. See you soon, Jaehwan._

When he walked into Bekant, she was already there. She was sipping her coffee, dressed in a roomy but flowy t-shirt and leggings. He beamed a princely smile at her while thinking to himself that even such comfy clothes suited her. She had instinctively picked a spot in a booth away from most customers. He could hardly control himself.

“Do you know that you’re late--,” she started but was cut off by his leaning down and immediately capturing her lips in a kiss. The same intoxicating feeling was spreading through his body already.

“God, you are real, aren’t you,” he breathed against her lips when they separated.

She didn’t answer, only smiled at him and tucked her hair behind her ear.

They didn’t talk as much as they had the evening before. When they could stop kissing for a minute they mostly gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Listen, sweetheart” Jaehwan said with a voice turned heavy from lust after they kissed again, the nickname rolling off his tongue unintentionally. “I meant what I said, that I don’t want to rush this and also that this can be as anonymous as you want. But there are a couple of things I think you need to know about me because I want you to know what you’re getting.”

She placed her hand on top of his, playing with his fingers and let him continue.

“I mentioned I work in entertainment. I’m somewhat in the public eye because of that, although clearly I’m not _that_ famous, otherwise you’d already know who I was,” he joked. “It would be very bad for me if we were ever photographed together, though. It’s easier for me to come to this neighbourhood because it’s away from all the buzz. My apartment is near Hongdae.”

He looked down at their linked hands and kissed her knuckles absentmindedly, then fiddled with a napkin on the table, folding it into a swan and handing it to her. He was always good with his hands.

“You already know this. I really like you, I’m very drawn to you and I think we could have a lot of fun together but I don’t… I don’t exactly know what I’m looking for. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“No, don’t worry about such things. We don’t owe each other anything, we’re just having a good time,” she said to him comfortingly.

“Good. Because of my work I haven’t really had time until now to really think about who I am outside my work and what I want. I’ve always lived simply, just enjoyed the good times and persevered through the bad, always chased the same goals. But now I have different… Different desires.... that I don’t know what to do with,” he looked down nervously, then looked at her, trying to see if she understood without him having to clarify more.

“I think I understand… I’m in something of a similar place myself, if I understand you correctly. With sex and intimacy I’ve come to a place where I’m looking to explore a little, if the right person came along. Is that what you meant?”

He nodded quickly at her, inwardly sighing in relief that she could read him so well and that she didn’t shy away from such topics.

The announcement came that the café was closing in 5 minutes. She turned to him with hopeful eyes.

“Walk me home this time?”

He nodded and they both picked up their jackets, heading out the door. She told him where she lived, it wasn’t far and his train stop was on the way.

His hand burned around hers as they walked hand in hand. His eyes burned into her, the focus shifting down a trail from her eyes to her lips, to her neck and back again. She led him along quiet residential streets, past an alleyway around the back of a small park. He suddenly stopped and pulled her to him.

“What are you—“

He cut her off with a hungry kiss. It was dark and deserted, and he could not wait, he had to have a little more. He backed her up against the brickwork on one side of the alley, pressing his body into hers. His body was trembling. He knew he was being forceful but because it wasn’t in his usual nature and he had always been a perfect gentleman with girls before, it didn’t show through too much. His hands flew to the zipper of her jacket and he tugged it down with a loud sound. His fingers snuck under her t-shirt quickly but he behaved, only tracing the skin at her waist, yet it seemed to have quite an effect on her as she arched into him and moaned lightly into their kiss.

“Come home with me, it’s not far,” she whispered.

“I can’t, not tonight, but I promise, I won’t make you wait too long, princess” he said breathlessly, his voice hoarse and low. “I just wanted to taste more of you”.

With that he went lower, kissing under her ear like he had imagined, pulling on her earring lightly with his teeth then nipping and sucking on her neck. He was hard in his boxers already, he could feel it and so could she, as he was pressed so tight against her.

“Are you okay with this,” he asked and brought a hand to the side of her neck, fingers pressing lightly into the smooth skin. He was testing her again.

“Yes, oh yes…”

Her breathy sighs were music to him and he bit her lip hungrily, then wound his fingers in her hair, deepening their kiss and tightening the pull on her hair, arching her head back slightly.

“How about this,” he asked again.

Instead of answering her hands traced his body, going under his jacket and playing with the drawstrings on his pants. Before he could say anything she had loosened them and her cool fingers were against the skin at his hips.

“What are you doing,” he hissed, trying to keep from bucking against her. He promptly failed when she cupped his heavy length in her hand through his underwear. “Don’t do that,” he panted, “It’s been a long time since I’ve… I won’t hold…”

“It’s okay, no one ever passes through here. Maybe I want to taste more of you as well,” she said in a tone that made him desperate. He grunted and pulled on her hair harder, biting at the junction of her neck and shoulder. He held her against the wall and whispered in her ear.

“Would you do it? Would you taste me right here, right now?”

“If you wanted me to. If you told me to, I would do as you ask,” she gasped as his other hand trailed down her body hungrily, cupping her breasts.

Jaehwan’s head was swimming. Suddenly what he had been dreaming about, yearned for and pleasured himself to thoughts of was being placed on a silver platter before him, and he was hesitating. He was hesitating when all he wanted to do was push her down and order her to suck him.

“Oh fuck… I’m…,” he stuttered, pressing his hips against her. Was he really about to tell a girl he hardly knew to suck him off in a random alley?

“Do it, princess. _Do it, on your knees,”_ he heard himself say, although he hardly recognised the voice that came out. He brought it out sometimes, sometimes when he purred a sensual song into a microphone, sometimes in bed when he would tease girls he had been with, talking to them so dirty that no one would believe the sort of things coming out of his angelic lips.

His princess did just as he had asked. She inched his underwear lower and touched the smooth skin of his length. He felt her hand wrap around him and pull him out in the open. She dropped to her knees just as he had asked and licked her lips at the sight of him – heavy, hard and leaking at the tip.

“ _Fuck..._ Look what you’re doing to me,” Jaehwan whispered. “Are… are you clean,” he asked her, a sliver of sensibility floating back into his jumbled mind.

“Yes. You?”

He nodded.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this,” he asked for the last time.

She nodded, looking up at him with something in her eyes he hadn’t seen before. Hungry, lustful and obedient. “Yes, Jaehwan. I want it to be good for you,” she said sweetly to him but her voice was sinful.

He shut his eyes as he heard her say that. She was like a dream come true.

“Suck me then, sweetheart. Be a good girl for me.”

Her pretty lips opened around the tip of his cock and he almost lost his balance, leaning over her to brace his hands against the wall as she placed kisses on his tip, then he watched her tongue slide out to taste him.

He tipped his head back when she opened wide and started taking him into her mouth. He tested the waters again and tilted his hips forward, making her take a little more of him. She didn’t protest and only hummed, eagerly hollowing out her cheeks to suck him in.

His hands itched. He wanted to grab her and force more of himself into her mouth but he held back, he didn’t want to scare her. He was usually quite loud in bed and it was taking effort for him not to moan, instead trying to keep himself to shaky breaths.

Jaehwan allowed himself to snake one hand into her hair, not pulling, not grabbing, just holding, but then he felt her fingers join his and close his grip with her own hand. She wanted it the way he wanted it, he was certain of it.

He pulled her forward and delighted in the light choked up gasp that she let out as she was forced to take more of him, but she adjusted. She stroked what her mouth could not fit.

“Ugh… Jaehwan… I can’t do more, you’re so big,” she got out when she came off of him for a second to catch her breath.

“Try it for me,” he asked her sweetly, voice hot and heavy, “I’m sure you’ll do great. I’ll help you along.”

She allowed him to hold her head in place and thrust into her mouth.

“Open wide,” he ordered.

She obeyed him and he was able to thrust a little further. She still stroked him and he relished in her warmth, the sensations she brought him and he knew he couldn’t last, it had been too long and he was out of practice.

He was thrusting quickly into her mouth now and she got more used to his size, she sucked him eagerly and he used his grip on her hair to move her as he wanted.

“Mmm… I can’t believe I’m doing this right here but you’re so good… Such a good girl,” he praised her and she clearly enjoyed it, humming and sucking him harder. He was panting now, body bowed over hers in the dark alley.

“You’re gonna make me cum soon, sweetheart. Can you take it?”

“Mhmmm,” she hummed again, looking up at him.

“You’re okay if I’m a little rougher?”

Jaehwan knew he was asking too much already but she nodded at him, again placing his hand on her head.

He grinned and bit his lips mid-sigh. “Fuck you’re perfect… Just like that, keep going,” he rasped.

She was allowing him to fuck her mouth and use her and was humming her enjoyment on top of it. Jaehwan felt like he had done nothing to deserve it but he was so far gone, all he could do was jerk his hips and thrust into her mouth. He felt tension in his groin, a familiar heavy feeling and his grip was so tight on her hair she gasped in surprise.

“I’m gonna…”

He tried to warn her but it was almost too late, he felt the spasms and shoved his cock into her mouth as deep as he could go, ignoring the sound of her quickened breathing and keeping her right where she was. He couldn’t hold it and he groaned, head tipping back and his hips surging forward, starting to empty himself into her mouth.

“Oh fuck,” he cursed, “That’s it… Yes, yes, take it, princess. Fuck… so good for me…”

He couldn’t stop himself, whispering filthy things to her in the dark as she drank him down. When he was spent he slumped against the wall, panting. He quickly remembered his manners and helped her up, not letting go of her hand after and kissing it, ever the gentleman.

He looked at her with half-lidded eyes, taking in her dishevelled hair and swollen lips.

“Was I a good girl,” she asked teasingly, still catching her breath.

Jaehwan laughed lightly and kissed her lips, not caring that she had just swallowed his seed.

“Yes you were, so good,” he peppered her neck in kisses between words, hands still hungry and roaming over her body, one slipping into her leggings, cupping her over her underwear and surprised to feel that she had almost soaked through them.

“God, you really enjoyed this, didn’t you? You’re soaking.”

“I d-did, oh…,” she stuttered, suddenly so sensitive at finally being touched.

“Where are my manners,” Jaehwan chuckled, “I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. Mmm, you feel so warm,” he whispered as he manoeuvred his fingers over the waistband of her underwear and slid his fingers directly against the wetness.

He wanted to drown in her, wanted to satisfy her, to taste her, hear her cry out in pleasure just how she had done for him. His orgasm had done nothing to dull the sharp pricks of lust still shooting through his body.

“N-no, Jaehwan, not here,” she panted, “I won’t be able to keep quiet, someone might hear,” she tried to push him off of her weakly.

“We’ll be fine, it’s okay,” he spoke in a hushed tone, rubbing between her soaked lips with his fingers and stopping to massage her clit slowly.

“No, come home with me, we can do it there, not here. Please,” she begged.

“I can feel how much your body wants this, it’s okay,” he told her sweetly, pushing a long finger past her entrance and into her, groaning when her walls enveloped him in a tight, soaking heat.

“I said no, Jaehwan, please!”

Something in her tone startled him and he pulled back to look at her. He didn’t like what he saw. Her face was turned away to the side, arms crossed over her abdomen, her body language telling him she was serious. He pulled his hand out of her leggings and stepped back.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you. Are you okay?”

For the first time since meeting her she wasn’t looking at him with a glimmer in her eyes. In fact she wasn’t meeting his eyes at all, looking down at her feet shuffling awkwardly.

“I got carried away, I’m so sorry… I’m such an idiot,” Jaehwan said bitterly.

How could he be so stupid? He had ruined this now, he was sure of it. He had broken the number one rule of consent and felt even worse for it as a man. He never wanted to see someone be genuinely uncomfortable because of him, and if nothing else, this taught him where his boundary with that was. While he may have been excited by the idea of flirting with fear, he did not want to be actually feared by a partner.

“Look… I crossed a line, I didn’t mean to. I don’t want to cause you any discomfort at all, that’s the last thing I want. I’ve never done anything like this,” he gestured between the two of them, trying to refer to their unusual couple of evenings.

“It’s… It’s okay,” she finally said, voice small and quiet. “I did want it, I just wasn’t sure where my boundary was exactly either.”

She took a step towards him and reached out for his hand.

“Jaehwan… Certain… Certain things excite me, as you might have noticed. But it’s new to me too, it’s these kinds of limits that I haven’t explored.”

He felt suddenly hopeful, and stepped into her space, wrapping an arm around her. Something pulled in his chest when she relaxed into his hug.

“It’s the same for me. I wish I could take it back, I didn’t want to scare you.”

They separated after a moment and she seemed brighter. “Shall we go,” she said, pulling him by the hand gently.

They walked in silence until they reached her apartment building in a few minutes. It was quite nondescript from what he could make out in the low light.

“This is me,” she said, turning to Jaehwan with a small smile. He returned it but she could tell he was uneasy and afraid to touch her beyond what she was doing herself.

“Hey, look at me,” she peered at him and he complied, meeting her eyes. God, she’s beautiful, he thought to himself. He hoped this wouldn’t be the last time he saw her.

“It’s okay, we’re okay. This is all clearly new territory. I’m not afraid of you, okay? I want to see you again,” her voice was soft but sure as she stepped into his space and put a hand on his cheek.

“If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do it right. I said I wouldn’t rush this and I broke my own promise,” he said with disappointment seeping in his words.

“We’ll do it right,” she nodded in agreement. “I think it would be good to have some rules. Clearly you like to be in charge and I’m the opposite.”

“Yeah, I can see you might like being chained up,” Jaehwan joked, unconsciously referencing that one infamous VIXX song.

“That’s quite BDSM but I definitely like the thought of it. Um… Are you… Are you familiar with _that?_ ”

Jaehwan scratched the back of his neck, smiling nervously.

“A little, yes. I know the basic concept, that there are rules and safewords and contracts and such. I haven’t properly tried it.” He hoped to whoever would listen that she wouldn’t find out that he was in VIXX and that she hadn’t seen “Chained Up”. He was thanking Ravi now for his ever-thorough explanations when they were promoting the concept those years ago. He had learned things that made him blush but he had been curious what it would actually be like.

“That’s good. That’s good,” she trailed off. “That’s… what I was looking to explore, when I mentioned earlier.”

Jaehwan’s smile disappeared and his expression became serious.

“You mean you’re a submissive? Or looking to be?”

She nodded, then looked up at him, trying to gauge his response.

Jaehwan was unsure. He didn’t want to lose her, and he was definitely excited at the thought of her allowing him to dominate her but he didn’t want to mess this up. He stroked her hair gently, then trailed a finger down the side of her face like she was a precious thing to him.

“Isn’t it better to do this type of thing with someone experienced in it? I’ve never done it properly before, not that I don’t want to try but if I were you I’m not sure I would trust a novice.”

“It’s about trust and respecting boundaries when it comes down to it. I’ve… I’ve looked but I haven’t found anyone experienced. I know we don’t know each other well but when I’m with you I feel… I do feel safe, Jaehwan.”

He kissed her gently, a far cry from the hungry, passionate kisses from earlier.

“Do you really see me as a dom, then?”

“Maybe. I want to try it with you, if you’re okay with it. We’ll go very slow and if it doesn’t work, we don’t have to continue.”

She rubbed her fingers over his hand soothingly, and he bit his lips, deliberating. One look from her and he knew he wanted to give her what she craved, and to allow himself the freedom to explore, to share these sensations with someone who wanted the same.

“Alright… Alright,” he whispered, then kissed her lips again. He held her close this time, not taking but giving, giving her comfort and warmth and she wanted to melt in his arms.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling widely and kissing the tip of his nose playfully. He grinned at her and looked like himself again, like the cute, mischievous Jaehwan.

“Next time we meet we’ll come to mine, okay?”

“Yeah, that would be smart. I’ll do a bit of… _homework._ If I’m going to be taking care of you I want to know what I’m doing as much as possible.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that,” she squeezed his hand in hers again.

“Keep in touch and I will let you know when I’m free.”

She nodded and they shared their final kiss of the evening. They bid their goodbyes and he watched her disappear into her building.

The chill of the night finally caught up with Jaehwan as he walked to the station. He spent most of the journey back scrolling through websites but felt a little overwhelmed and not sure where to start with the whole BDSM thing.

He hurried home, remembering practice the next morning and hopped in for a quick shower before settling in bed. He didn’t bother with pyjamas at all.

I might regret this, he thought to himself, but brought up his messages with Ravi and started typing.

_Hey Wonshikkieee_ _J (: You knooooow… when we did “Chained Up”? Where did you get all your “material”?_

He knew not to expect an answer from Ravi until at least 3 a.m. so he did his best to get to sleep soon to prepare for his early start the next morning.

Jaehwan woke up promptly at 06:00, to 13 new messages from Ravi.

***

Jaehwan breezed through practice and the next week of promotional shows, TV and radio appearances. VIXX swooped up another win and the boys couldn’t be more ecstatic. Jaehwan felt much happier and more excited, even though his mind constantly came back to his new lover. He was able to be present and give his all on stage, knowing he would soon be able to have the space to explore some more.

He had been true to his word and informed himself about how to properly take care of someone in a dominant/submissive dynamic but he didn’t want to jump right into it. He planned to suggest that they introduce it only when they both felt ready and after they had had a chance to get to know each other’s bodies and what they liked.

He enjoyed the stages throughout the week but by the time it got to his next day off he was very restless and impatient. He didn’t allow that to be noticed by the rest of the members, even N, because he didn’t feel ready for any questions or any teasing, and definitely didn’t want to be explaining what sort of relationship he was in where he didn’t know his girl’s name.

The minute Jaehwan walked out of the building after their last performance for the week, he texted her.

_I have tonight and Sunday off. Is my princess free?_

He didn’t have to wait long before his phone vibrated.

*beep* _Yes she is_ _J Meet you at Bekant quickly at 7 first? Oh, and bring a change of clothes ;)_

“Jyani, what are you grinning about,” N asked incredulously on their car ride back to Jellyfish to drop off their stage costumes.

“I don’t wanna know, hyuuung,” Hyuk whined mockingly, “he’ll scar my innocent ears.”

Jaehwan couldn’t stop his instinctive glance at Ravi. He was glad at that moment for Ravi’s excellent poker face, because Ravi understood it probably had something to do with the unexpected question Jaehwan had come to him with in the middle of the night last week and the radio silence that had followed after. If Ravi understood, he gave no sign of it, but Jaehwan could swear he could see him hiding a tiny smile with his hand while looking out the window.

Jaehwan took off as soon as they had helped put away the last of their equipment at the company. He showered and ate as quickly as he could, threw some spare clothes and his toothbrush into a small backpack and made sure to put on a mask and sunglasses this time, just in case.

He was restless on the train and willed himself to take deep breaths and calm the nervousness down.

When he walked into Bekant, she was already there again but quickly stood up and joined him at the bar. They ordered their coffee to go and quickly exited.

Small talk was easy and sweet on the way to her apartment. They talked about work, about colleagues and what food they had had that week, about what was playing in cinemas that they wanted to see and Jaehwan talked about his Marvel obsession.

As they walked up the stairs to her flat the chatter died down and both felt like they were almost holding their breaths in anticipation. Jaehwan shamelessly stared at her as she walked in front of him. He very much appreciated the way her jeans hugged her body and how her top left her shoulders exposed slightly. What she wore was hardly revealing but he was so drawn to her that even little glimpses of exposed skin felt indulgent to him.

“Here we are,” she finally said, unlocking the door to her small flat. Not wanting to be rude, Jaehwan took his shoes off at the door and looked around.

It was a small place and there was no luxury but he could definitely see her touch in the décor. It was lived-in but effort was made to keep it tidy, and it felt cosy to him. She had a bookcase which was quite full, and he could tell that her small kitchen was heavily used. The kitchen and living room were one space, there was no dining table but there was a breakfast bar with two stools. She had a small closet room and a small bathroom but her bedroom seemed quite spacious from what he could see through the open door.

He saw himself to one of the barstools and leaned against it, sipping on his coffee through the straw of his takeout cup.

“So, do you come here often,” he smirked at her. He always used humour to break the tension, it was part of his personality but even he could tell his voice was shaky. His fingers itched to touch her but he swore to himself he would let himself be led by her and wouldn’t let his dick get the better of him.

She smiled at him, finished her coffee and walked past him to throw the cup into the trash.

On her way back he caught her hand and led her in a twirl playfully.

“Do I get some alone time with my princess now,” he said warmly, eyes sparkling with excitement.

“I would love that,” she said as she closed the distance between them and stood between Jaehwan’s legs. He bent down to kiss her. He was still taller than her, even sat on the stool, and he widened his legs more to make space for her. He didn’t linger on her lips too long, instead he gently led her to turn with her back to him and he laid kisses on the exposed skin of her shoulders.

He felt her shiver.

“Jaehwan…”

God, his name had never sounded as beautiful as when it came out in a breathy tone from her lips, he thought, and he trailed his fingers in a caress up her other shoulder, then the side of her neck and cradled her face in his large palm gently.

“Jaehwan, let’s… move this somewhere else.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” he chuckled nervously. He let her lead him to her bedroom and he closed the door behind him.

He couldn’t help himself and kissed her with more urgency then, tongue slipping between her lips to taste her, slowly backing her more towards her double bed. He felt her hand on his belt but he pulled it away gently.

“We said that we would go slow and I mean it,” he murmured. “Let me take care of you this time.”

He sat on her bed and pulled her along with him, seating her in his lap with her back towards him. His full lips busied themselves with teasing the sensitive skin on the side of her neck again and she hummed, unconsciously rolling her hips against him and she felt his increasing hardness. 

“Oh...”

Jaehwan smirked against her skin and nipped her earlobe playfully.

“That’s what you do to me, princess. And it’s all for you,” he murmured in her ear and he caressed her side gently, then slipped underneath her shirt, his fingers drawing innocent patterns at her waist but so loaded with intent that it almost felt lewd.

“J-Jaehwan...I...,” her voice hitched when his fingers trailed upwards, along her ribcage towards her breasts ever so slowly.

“Yes,” he whispered questioningly, tongue running teasingly just underneath her ear and making her skin erupt in goosebumps.

“Jaehwan-ah, I want...”

“Tell me, baby, anything,” his usually bright voice had dropped into that tone where it was all smoke, that huskiness and dark promise.

“Undress me, please,” she finally brought out, squirming in his lap and unknowingly torturing him with every brush of her ass against his covered cock.

Without a word he lifted her shirt off her and set it aside, leaving her in her bra.

“Please, hurry up,” his princess panted as Jaehwan slipped a finger under her bra strap but didn’t slip it off her shoulder.

“I thought we were taking it slow, princess,” he planted chaste kisses down her neck until he reached the tender place where it joined her shoulder.

“I can’t, you’re making me feel like...”

“Like?”

His hand slid down the front of her body to her jeans but didn’t stop, and he cupped and rubbed her gently between her legs, forcing a whimper out of her.

“Jaehwan... Fuck...”

The sound made him shut his eyes and he bit his lips harshly to keep from ripping the rest of her clothes off her. He settled for making quick work of her bra clasp and slid it smoothly down her arms. He lifted her hips off his lap just long enough to push her jeans down her legs and she kicked them off, inpatient.

She sat astride him, facing him this time, and grabbed the hem of his shirt before he could stop her. He lifted his arms and let her take it off, but as soon as it was tossed aside he pulled her close, kissing her deeply and gliding his tongue against hers. She moaned into his mouth and ran her hands over the bare skin of his chest and shoulders.

Jaehwan was a beauty. Somewhere between the military, almost 10 years with VIXX and getting more content with himself, he had filled out a little more in the right places and carried it well but still had that idol-like proportion and the grace that came from years of dance and using his body to tell a story on the stage. 

His princess obviously very much appreciated it, humming sweetly as she kissed along his chest, her hands never stopping in one place but gliding over smooth skin, anywhere she could reach. It made Jaehwan feel like she couldn’t get enough of him and it was a like a rush to him. He always liked attention, but being downright worshipped like this happened rarely to him and it was like a drug.

“Mmmm…,” Jaehwan’s head tipped back on its own when she bit him lightly on the neck, just as he had done to her a few minutes prior. Her hips were grinding against his and his head was swimming. He didn’t protest this time when she quickly unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his trousers. She came off his lap briefly to get his trousers off but as she was about to straddle him again his cut her off and flipped her on her back underneath him.

“But I was…”

Her words died on her lips when Jaehwan closed those pillow lips around one of her nipples, large hands kneading both her breasts in time with his tongue. One of his hands left her breast and snaked around her back, fingers burying themselves at the roots of her hair and pulling firmly, making her tip her head back. Jaehwan forced her further back to lean on her elbows and leaned over her, mouth never moving off her nipples but his other hand pulling her underwear off her, finally leaving her bare. He could feel how warm she was and he could tell she was dripping.

He trailed a finger teasingly through her folds, finding her slippery and hot, and she whimpered. His lips curled up into a smile around her nipple as he continued running his finger up and down her slit. Her hips pushed up against his hands unconsciously and he felt her hands searching for his shoulders. He allowed her to pull him down for a kiss, and just as he slowly ran his tongue past her lips he slid a finger into her pussy.

He swallowed her cry and deepened the kiss, at the same time thrusting his finger deep into her and out again, feeling her slickness covering his hand and her walls trying to keep him in. She was getting breathless now and Jaehwan had all but forgotten his promise to take things slow. He made his way down her body, feeling his mouth water at the thought of finally tasting her.

He pushed her legs wider apart, her calves hanging off the edge of the bed as he knelt in front of her and licked a line over her slit. She arched off the bed, her thighs opening even wider as if begging him to please her, and he didn’t need any further invitation. His tongue massaged her clit slowly but firmly, and he returned his fingers to teasing at her opening. He could feel instinct take over as he read her movements and knew she wanted more.

He started sucking on her clit lightly as he fucked her with one finger, knowing this was teasing more than anything, and when her breathy moans shifted into whines, he knew he was driving her crazy. He added another finger, making sure to press deep into her, and increased the pressure on her clit, sucking and teasing with the tip of his tongue. He spread her nice and wide with his other hand and drew back for a moment to admire how wet she was. He looked up at her just as she was able to raise up a little and their eyes met. Not looking away, he lowered again and kissed her clit, then ran his tongue over it until he saw her eyes roll back and close.

He fucked her faster with his fingers, curling just a little and smirked at the audible hitch of her breath and change in pitch. He locked his lips around her clit and sucked hard, wanting more than anything to watch her fall apart under his lips.

He released her clit with a pop, reaching forward with his hand behind her neck to bring her face up to look at him.

“Do you want to cum”, he asked her, the rasp in his voice harsh.

“Yes, yes.. Please don’t stop,” she gasped.

“What do you need? Tell me,” he encouraged her.

“I love this, it feels so good… Just a little faster, please..”

He obliged her instantly, lips returning to her clit and increasing the pace with his fingers. He heard her moans get louder and he was getting so turned on himself, he squeezed his cock and stroked himself a few times to ease the pressure.

He could feel her walls squeezing around his fingers, heard the change in her breathing and knew she was on the edge. He sucked that little bit harder and flattened his tongue on her clit, fucking her harshly with his fingers and a scream broke out from her lips. Her walls spasmed on his fingers and he could feel her pulsing around them as she was tensing through her orgasm. Her hips bucked forward, impaling herself on his fingers even more as she was riding it out.

When she was spent, all he heard was her catching her breath and she relaxed under him, her beauty on display, her juices covering his fingers and he sucked them off greedily. He grinned, ever so pleased with himself and crawled up the bed, laying on his side next to her to watch her come back to Earth.

“How do you feel, princess?”

“Perfect,” she smiled with her eyes closing in bliss.

“Do you need a little break? Because I’m not done with you yet,” Jaehwan smirked against her skin as he nuzzled against her neck.

“Just a little one,” she giggled sweetly and rolled over on top of him, lips finding his and tasting herself on his tongue.

He let her stay on top and enjoyed her sweetness, but could not help moaning into her mouth when her drenched pussy brushed against his straining cock.

“God you’re going to feel amazing,” he breathes against her lips, slyly raising his hips a little to tease her with his dick right between her legs.

Her smile faded and her lips parted with a gasp when she felt him rubbing up against her and she pushed back against him.

“Oh fuck… It’s.. It’s so sensitive. Please, I want you inside me so bad!”

Jaehwan couldn’t wait another second. He rolled her off him quickly and onto her side, enveloping her body with his. He grabbed her leg and pulled it over his, spreading her open, and guided his aching cock towards her pussy. He moaned as he stroked himself, feeling his precum leaking over his fingers.

He placed the head of his cock at her entrance and pushed lightly, entering her just a little, and teased the head in and out a few times.

“Are you ready,” he hummed in her ear.

“Oh god yes,” she moaned, hips twisting and trying to get him to fill her up.

Jaehwan held on to her leg under the knee and spread her open further, pushing forward with his hips and forcing more of his cock inside her. He couldn’t help it and moaned loudly, pretty lips falling open at the velvety, tight heat encasing him. His jaw was clenching with the effort to keep it slow and not overwhelm her, mindful of his size.

“You feel absolutely amazing, princess. How does it feel when I stretch you open with my dick, hmm?” he asked as he thrust deeper, trying to stuff all himself inside her. A harsher, raw cry came from her then.

“Oh my god, Jaehwan…”

He looked up at her face, scrunched in concentration as she weathered the sensations. She was beautiful even like this, and he ducked down, biting at the juncture of her neck and shoulder as he languidly rolled his hips into her, filling her to the brim. This made her back arch and she separated from him a little, but instinct forced Jaehwan to grab her tight and increase his pace.

“That’s it, scream for me…,” he heard himself growl in her ear. _What am I saying… Is that even me?_

Jaehwan poured into her all the stress of the last several years and he could not stop, barely holding onto his sensibilities.

“Are you okay,” he rasped, “How do you want me?”

Her lips were parted but she could barely even speak. Instead she turned further away from him and gripped his arm, pulling him with her and up onto their knees with him still buried in her from behind.

“Is this what you want,” Jaehwan asked, his voice trembling. “I won’t be as gentle.”

“Ah… Yes…”

Her breathy plea was all he needed and his hands were on her hips in an instant. He drove himself forward with a grunt and hissed, almost losing it right there at how her walls gripped him. She was still so snug around his cock but he could hear her getting louder. He dropped a hand lower, over her hip, over her abdomen and in between her legs, massaging her clit as he forced himself to slow his pace and get her to the brink just as he already was.

He rubbed quickly but lightly, matching his pace and her back arched further, her walls grasping his cock harder. He released his bruising grip on her hip and buried his other hand in her hair, pulling back tight. There was a gasp in his ears as her walls fluttered around his cock.

He pulled her up higher by her hair, bringing his face next to her ear.

“You like this huh?”

She struggled badly with her words but a “yes” slipped from between her teeth as she hissed at his rougher treatment.

There was a flutter underneath his fingers as they let go of her hair and Jaehwan closed them around a delicate, smooth neck.

“And this?”

He could not coax more words from her. His fingers on her clit quickened and he felt a distinct pulsing around his cock as his princess was coming undone beneath him, cumming hard and screaming her pleasure.

Feeling the pressure low in his groin and abdomen, Jaehwan stopped holding back. He thrust roughly into her, working towards his own climax. He threw his head back with a loud moan and found himself staring at a blank ceiling as his orgasm threatened to make him scream the same as his princess. He put his last effort into maintaining presence, and pulled her up to kneel with him as he trailed sloppy, open-mouthed and breathless kisses down the column of her neck.

He could feel her push back against him and he let go, hip bones slamming harshly against the curve of her ass. He was sure he was bruising her with how hard his fingers dug into her hips but he instinctively knew she was okay with it, and he fully let himself indulge in the heat and softness underneath and around him as he filled her.

The haze over his senses started to lift gently and he was more aware of the ragged breaths coming from himself and his new lover. He littered much gentler kisses over her shoulders and took her face in his hand, turning it towards him to catch her lips in a lingering, luxurious kiss. He could feel her lips curve up into a smile as she kissed back.

He pulled out of her and lowered them both down onto the sheets, caressing a line down her body for a few moments before he made a Herculean effort to rise to his feet. He let her catch her breath as he padded down the short hallway into what he presumed was her bathroom. He grabbed a small washcloth from a small neat stack next to the shower and wet it with warm water before returning to his princess to help clean her up.

“Such a gentleman,” she giggled sleepily as she stretched out onto her back and let him wipe away the traces of what they had just done. Jaehwan’s mind was so blissfully blank, he only smiled at her as he gazed into her half-lidded eyes.

“You can leave that back in the bathroom, I’ll take care of it later.”

Jaehwan did as she asked and quickly returned to her bed, stretching out like a cat alongside her. She seemed to have returned to Earth now, returning his gaze as her fingers reached for him and rubbed meaningless patterns over his chest.

He settled for caressing her cheek and running his fingers over her lips sensuously, as if he could not believe what he was touching was real.

“I just need a little break,” she said softly, “and then we can explore some more”.

Jaehwan laughed quietly with a glint in his eyes and parted her lips with his finger, pushing past them.

**Author's Note:**

> How did you like that? ;)  
> This is also posted on my tumblr account @muselin  
> You can follow me there for general thirsty kpop content


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